How i escaped from death - Flexy
...as written by FLexy
After reading this, Lizzy must have gotten my SMS, i'm breaking up with her! No no its not rude, you will want to support me.
For like 3weeks i tried to hookup a date with Lizzy until yesterday, when she agreed. I was sitting on a table close to the window, i wanted our date romantic so i picked an air-conditioned spot. She didn't keep me waiting, she came just 20minuites after i came. Minuites before she came, i had my head over a chat i had with Gozkybrain (my fellow blogger and friend). He was telling me to talk to my Lady about us being private after our dinner, but i had toughts she would decline.
**muah** came a kiss on my head,
Lizzy: hello cherry, hope i didn't keep you waiting.
Me: not at all, you came right on time.
Lizzy: cool, so watsup for dinner?? (just as a waiter walks up to our corner...)
Me: i don't know much about international resturants, you make an order instead.
Lizzy: lol, local boo
Me: international bae
Waiter: what may i offer you??
Lizzy: your MENU please....
Waiter: here you go ma
Lizzy: okay, Kerrire Masche` and German Sharre Sauce
Me: ***Allahu Akbar, what kind of food are these*** oh yes yea
Lizzy: (..as the waiter leaves) So you know that dish? Woaw you are not as Local as i put it.
Me: no no no i'm really local, i only heard the name once from my man Hung Weilee.
Lizzy: lol, don't worry honey pie, you ld love it.
****i kept on praying in my mind that i'll cope with the food because i hate trying new food in public, yulk.
Lizzy: alright boo, the dish is here, make an order for a drink.
Me: ***out of my misery*** waiter get us brandy.
Our dinner went on really romantic, the food wasn't so bad and i learnt fast on it. The sauce tasted somehow, Lizzy said it had puppy meat mashed together with its borne marrow. It sounded like yulk to be but it tastes woaw. According to Lizzy, Kerrie Masche` was Semovita, jeez! All through the meal i was talking about us being intimate but Lizzy wasn't just wanting. "do you scream when you go missionary??" i asked her, and all she said was hnmm.
"when we get intimate, i'ld fing your G-spot, you like it huh??"... She didn't reply, infact she said we should get going.
Alright i paid and we got into a taxi, i talked to her about us being intimate but she didn't just say anything. Touched her close to her bossom and she was okay with it. I rubbed her many times on her tigh but she was okay too. I was confused, i wish i could do something.
We reached her house and i folded my arms and frowned my face, she kissed my head and said, "tell me when you want to get intimate, dont promise me anything yet"... I kept smilling and waving till the taxi dropped me. On hitting the bell, my stomach roared, jeez!! I am dead. I went in and sat, having a chat with my brother my stomach upset got worse. Soon mum came back, she asked what i ate..
"Dog meat?? Puppy what?? Our family don't eat dog. Jezz but you know you are allergic to Semovita" said mum
It was really late and no one could get me a drug. In my agony i tried chatting with Lizzy, she only laughed at me till her battery drained. I messaged Gozkybrain. All his comfort brought me fear. He said that anyone who eats a meal his family doesn't, would face the wrat of 'agba' a masquerede.
I slept off and in 10minuites i got this intense pain peircing me, i coughed and wiggled on the bed. I opened my eye and saw myself on a wooden bed. It had fire pots all around it, there was a masquerede dancing in a distant and a little boy sitted by me. I asked him where i was and he said i was dead. I ate Agba's food. So what was i doing ?? Ghosts don't die ... The boy said they were going to eat my soul.
I wiggled and tried to shout, but i had gone dumb. I started crying, they blindfolded me and i felt the masquerede dancing towards me, goose pimples filled my body. I knew something bad was coming because my tummy was rumbling, then i heard them say "kill him!", i shouted "Allahu Akbar" just as i felt a hand on my head.
That was when i woke up from my dream, still shocked i said in my heart, "Allah Subhanahu Watta Allah". It was my mum, "how is your stomach upset" she asked. I let out a loud fart, i guess it meant, "thank God, i am alive, the stomach should settle itself".
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After reading this, Lizzy must have gotten my SMS, i'm breaking up with her! No no its not rude, you will want to support me. For like 3weeks i tried to hookup a date with Lizzy until yesterday, when she agreed. I was sitting on a table close to the window, i wanted our date romantic so i picked an air-conditioned spot. She didn't keep me waiting, she came just 20minuites after i came. Minuites before she came, i had my head over a chat i had with Gozkybrain (my fellow blogger and friend). He was telling me to talk to my Lady about us being private after our dinner, but i had toughts she would decline.
**muah** came a kiss on my head,
Lizzy: hello cherry, hope i didn't keep you waiting.
Me: not at all, you came right on time.
Lizzy: cool, so watsup for dinner?? (just as a waiter walks up to our corner...)
Me: i don't know much about international resturants, you make an order instead.
Lizzy: lol, local boo
Me: international bae
Waiter: what may i offer you??
Lizzy: your MENU please....
Waiter: here you go ma
Lizzy: okay, Kerrire Masche` and German Sharre Sauce
Me: ***Allahu Akbar, what kind of food are these*** oh yes yea
Lizzy: (..as the waiter leaves) So you know that dish? Woaw you are not as Local as i put it.
Me: no no no i'm really local, i only heard the name once from my man Hung Weilee.
Lizzy: lol, don't worry honey pie, you ld love it.
****i kept on praying in my mind that i'll cope with the food because i hate trying new food in public, yulk.
Lizzy: alright boo, the dish is here, make an order for a drink.
Me: ***out of my misery*** waiter get us brandy.
Our dinner went on really romantic, the food wasn't so bad and i learnt fast on it. The sauce tasted somehow, Lizzy said it had puppy meat mashed together with its borne marrow. It sounded like yulk to be but it tastes woaw. According to Lizzy, Kerrie Masche` was Semovita, jeez! All through the meal i was talking about us being intimate but Lizzy wasn't just wanting. "do you scream when you go missionary??" i asked her, and all she said was hnmm.
"when we get intimate, i'ld fing your G-spot, you like it huh??"... She didn't reply, infact she said we should get going.
Alright i paid and we got into a taxi, i talked to her about us being intimate but she didn't just say anything. Touched her close to her bossom and she was okay with it. I rubbed her many times on her tigh but she was okay too. I was confused, i wish i could do something.
We reached her house and i folded my arms and frowned my face, she kissed my head and said, "tell me when you want to get intimate, dont promise me anything yet"... I kept smilling and waving till the taxi dropped me. On hitting the bell, my stomach roared, jeez!! I am dead. I went in and sat, having a chat with my brother my stomach upset got worse. Soon mum came back, she asked what i ate..
"Dog meat?? Puppy what?? Our family don't eat dog. Jezz but you know you are allergic to Semovita" said mum
It was really late and no one could get me a drug. In my agony i tried chatting with Lizzy, she only laughed at me till her battery drained. I messaged Gozkybrain. All his comfort brought me fear. He said that anyone who eats a meal his family doesn't, would face the wrat of 'agba' a masquerede.
I slept off and in 10minuites i got this intense pain peircing me, i coughed and wiggled on the bed. I opened my eye and saw myself on a wooden bed. It had fire pots all around it, there was a masquerede dancing in a distant and a little boy sitted by me. I asked him where i was and he said i was dead. I ate Agba's food. So what was i doing ?? Ghosts don't die ... The boy said they were going to eat my soul.
I wiggled and tried to shout, but i had gone dumb. I started crying, they blindfolded me and i felt the masquerede dancing towards me, goose pimples filled my body. I knew something bad was coming because my tummy was rumbling, then i heard them say "kill him!", i shouted "Allahu Akbar" just as i felt a hand on my head.
That was when i woke up from my dream, still shocked i said in my heart, "Allah Subhanahu Watta Allah". It was my mum, "how is your stomach upset" she asked. I let out a loud fart, i guess it meant, "thank God, i am alive, the stomach should settle itself".
Stay entertained, Stay updated with the right informations, and Share what you know.
I Love to Write, and I Enjoy Music. I love to enjoy my fun life; A little bit of Sarcasm and A little bit of Geeky stuff.
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