5 times its not wise to date your ex
 | In my other article i blogged about the times you should give your ex a 2nd chance. |
#1. Someone close to you is tying the knot. Feeling lonely or frustratingly single while having to be a bridesmaid at a friend s wedding isn t a good reason to re-locate your last lover. This impulse is based on jealousy or competitiveness (externals), NOT an authentic longing for someone special and specific. It didn t work for Julia Roberts or Kate Hudson in any Rom-Coms and it won t work for you either.
#2. You hear he moved on. There should be a law that the dumper has to wait until the dumpee finds a more perfect partner. Unfortunately, that rarely happens. So seeing photos on Instagram of your ex who said he wasn t ready to commit to you now giving a ring to your replacement doesn t justify you texting him WTF, sharing the hashtag #SlittingMyWrist, or #SnapChatting your hottest half-unclad selfie kissing three girlfriends. I once wasted hours viewing the photos of one of my ex's new boyfriend. He was cuter than i was, but was way skinnier than me, i was only thinking about getting her back till my friend made me think otherwise. If i tried getting jer back, it wasn't because i still wanted her.
#3. Everything is up in the air. When I just came to #SMC newly, I bumped into a hot girl I had once dated up with and thought: "it must be destiny". More like self-destruction. A creep doesn t change his lines in a new location. Switching colleges or graduate schools, moving to a different city, or applying for jobs in different fields can be stressful changes that challenge your equilibrium. But lying on your back isn t the way to land on your feet. Try to be brave and independent for a while, instead of desperately booty-calling. What i'm saying in all is, Never, as in Never Ever Re-date an ex-who once lived around you and you both later bumped into each other!
#4. You just met someone new. The quickest way to sabotage a fresh start is to regress by returning to the relative safety of your past. Folks called it repetition compulsion. I call it Ex-Traction. I admit, right after I started dating the awesome lady I even tought we would later get married when we were older, It only turned out i had a last rendezvous with a loser who couldn t keep her libido down. I left her life feeling ill and forever banished her from my life, never mentioning it to anyone (until now). Now taking myself as an example, now i begin to date somebody with potential, it might feel weird and scary and make you want to escape. That s actually good; doing something different is always a little uncomfortable. Now s the time to de-friend and un-follow your ex, or you ll soon have two exes to obsess over. If your ex doesn't wat to heed your words, tell your new love. Thats just it.
#5. Life sucks. After feeling rejected by your latest hookup or being scolded by your parents, teachers, or boss isn t the time you need an instant gratification reunion with someone who could cause more damage. Ditto, if you ve been drugging or drinking too much, screwing up work, school, your finances, or internship. Even if your ex is willing to hold you while you cry, re-latching onto somebody when you re a needy basketcase could create more problems than it solves. Instead of your old boyfriend, call a new therapist.
Like my (happily married) Big Best friend, Mr. Onyii told me: Love won t make you happy. Make yourself happy. Then you ll find love.
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