5 times its cool to redate your ex
 | Girls expecially would never agree to this. Before writting this peice i needed clues |
1. You re compelled to apologize. If you treated somebody horribly and later wish you hadn t, it s never too late to say you re sorry. But a brief note via social media is much smarter than showing up at someone s home or work unannounced in the Nirvana T-shirt you stole from him. Keep it short and sweet, the way AA amends usually go. Say what you did wrong and what you feel badly about. I m sorry I left without explaining to you what was really going on. I never meant to hurt you and I hope you ll accept my belated apology. Ask yourself if it s the kind of mea culpa you d appreciate getting, and if so, atone away.
2. You have big news. If you re about to wed, divorce, give birth, your parents are splitting, someone close died, or you re coming out or transitioning like Caitlyn Jenner, you may want to share a major milestone with your former confidante. Perhaps first visit a counselor, clergy, or therapist to explore your expectations. (Making someone jealous is not good motivation.) Then, if you re compelled to give your ex an update, so they don t find out on Facebook, do it low key.
Try a short, innocuous letter, email, text, IM, or leave the phone message, When you have time, I d love to talk, and consider having coffee. When Cynthia told me about the summer trip she had with her guy, i was like, 'cool, you should have invited me... I was longing to show you my girl' That made me smile, (i'm sure she also did because i got the smiley), and that almost erased the bad juju from our breakup. But make sure not to spill your gut-wrenched confessional poetry in a long, heavy, emotional drunk text, or reach out at midnight on Valentine s Day.
3. You can handle a brash brush-off. When I asked my Secondary school girlfriend, Jenny out for a drink to talk about what happened in our past, she texted, I d rather take out my own appendix with a bottle of Jack and a dull spoon. Luckily, I was in a good emotional space, and stole her line for a laugh in my book. But it did hurt my feelings. You may learn that your ex is now living blissfully with a guy who s smarter and cooler than you are, is still angry, or wants nothing to do with you. So if you email her, expect nothing in return. Plan dinner and a double feature with your best friend and turn off your iPhone so you don t check your messages incessantly.
4. You re finishing old business. My friend Sophia was always bothered that she d never returned money from selling the engagement ring her ex-fiancé had given her. Though she assumed he was now blissfully wed and well off, she finally sent him a check with a note explaining the debt. She was surprised to learn his wife was ill and he was appreciative of the money. In my case, an ex-girlfriend recently asked to borrow ¦2500, she had been generous when I was a broke as student, so I obliged, calling it a gift. She wrote me a lovely thank you. In a weird way, being able to aid him assuaged some of my guilt and helped us both.
5. You ve never forgotten. Leaving the tearful phone message, I m still not over you! is overkill. But if you re single and can ascertain that your ex isn t currently involved with someone, there are classy ways to reconnect without embarrassing yourself. My distant aunt Chinelo sent a nice holiday card to the Guy she d left in secondary school, writing the line: Truthfully, you re the best guy I ever met and I still think about you. He called her and they wound up married, long after their original broken engagement.
I'm not saying you should go back to your ex th'o, i just shared with you the 5times its totally cool to re-date your ex and how you can do that without embarassing yourself.
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